I had one of the best laughs of the morning today. Here I am, trolling the interwebz, looking at job postings, and what do I see? An "Operations Manager / Cider Master" for a cidery in Massachusetts. It was click bait solely based on me wanting to see what the job description was (the site I was on has an option to preview the first line of the vacancy posting). I know someone who might be interested in it (not me, but hi SK. Check your email), should it sound like a reasonable job.
The description allows for some explanation of what the candidate will be walking in to, in regards to the business; however, the way it was written, made me chuckle. Considering whoever wrote the advertisement started off on a jolly foot right out the gate - "I hate job descriptions. Do you hate job descriptions? If so, you might be a good fit here", it's almost questionable how decent the job is. Yes, allegedly it's a full time, benefit open / 401K position, but the posting seems like it's going to attract the wrong kind of flies with this vinegar. Don't get me wrong; it's funny as hell to continue reading, but what kind of person is this company really looking for (outside from self starters and innovators)? Especially when the line after the 'I hate job descriptions' says "The ideal candidate will get shit done. They will seek results and efficiency while maintaining a high level of quality, safety, and employee satisfaction"! Get shit done??? Really? Who writes that in a reputable posting?
It certainly did what was needed, I must admit. I clicked on the link, I read that the business is a fairly new sales start up (six years old) and has under 40 people in the company. The job candidate will report directly to the owner, so there's no confusion on who you're going to be working for and with. You're going to be the person in charge on a daily basis, making sure everyone works properly and the cider gets made. More research seems like the job description fits their way of thinking - very casual, very up front, and very social. They seem to be a "no holds barred" type of cidery - open to suggestion and striving to make a hell of a hard cider. I know hard cider is a fairly new hipster addition to the drinking craze, so this place has strong competition. Reading their blog and checking other pages on their website, the employees seem young enough to want to make things happen in ways that makes their Boston location quite excellent. The central hub of everything needed to accomplish every set of goals they can imagine. I think that the only other place they could have done this, would be in New York, but they would get lost in the city. Boston (and its suburbs) is becoming a boom town for breweries and cideries.
I wish I was up in New England; I'd give the cider a try... just to say "the place wrote a job description that made me research them and want to try their wares... and it was [enter positive or negative remark here]".
With the sun beaming in my eyes, it is with much haste that I shorten this post. Thus, I give you picture proof of the job description so my dear readers can choose their own adventure in whatever life brings you today.
Saturday, January 14, 2017
Tuesday, January 10, 2017
'Business first': I know what today is, and as much as I don't want to acknowledge it, I have been wearing a different db shirt every day since Sunday. I will most likely round out the week with them. I've also got 4g ★ plugs in my ears. There's a rumor that we might play either the Ziggy movie or Velvet Goldmine in the office this afternoon, providing things aren't hectic. I just hope the person bringing the DVDs didn't forget. I also have to report that the TW forum has officially been taken down. Well, the page is still viable, but the Conversation Piece isn't. Mr. Torrie's email or ISP or something is broken, giving an error message... I noticed it a couple weeks ago, and even with emptying my browsing history, the same error message appears. I guess this is another thing "we" can add to the list of places that are no more...
I also can't believe it's been a complete year. Where did the last 12 months go? It seems like just yesterday my friend texted me "the news". Yet, celebrity deaths steamrolled the year and one after the other, people dropped like flies. I read that New Years Eve, William Christopher passed away (Father Mulcahy on the TV version of M*A*S*H). I could stand corrected, but I think he ended the year. That's not to say other big names didn't go to better studios during Christmas week - George Michael (on Christmas, no less), Debbie Reynolds and Carrie Fisher (a day apart), and too many others to do a full list. The "In Memoriam" segment of the Oscars is going to be about 45 minutes this year, if not longer. Plan your night wisely.
Ok.. so on to happier news:
On the weekend of July 4 2016, I was in Captiva for work. We were setting up a sound system for a fireworks event on the beach. During a slow moment on July 3, one of the managers took his 3DR Solo Drone Quadcopter out to show everyone what it can do. He was planning on taking aerial footage of the event Sunday night. As we watched him hook everything up - practice pads, the Go Pro to the drone, he did some test flights around us. As we "oooh"d and "aaaahh"d, it got to his head a little, and the next thing we know, he says "watch this!". He zips it high in the air, past some trees and it didn't return. It was supposed to circle back to us and land in the middle of a grassy area. As we all headed towards the water, we heard someone say they saw a drone crash into the water. Oh great; a combined total of $700 in technology has now been plopped into the ocean.
Almost immediately, the manager runs to his car, grabs his swim trunks and gets changed so he can dive in the warm Gulf and find his toys. By this time, the drone had sunk to a point that it can't be seen by the naked eye and he has to call in a few favors. In comes a friend who has scuba experience and they both go swimming. The scuba diver can't find the drone and it's dark already. Early the next morning, the manager and I hop in to a golf cart, speed to the beach and troll the shore. The only thing we found were baby sea turtles and a lot of seaweed.
The $300 drone and $350 Go Pro were eaten by the Gulf of Mexico.
Speed up to January 9, 2017. I get a phone call from the new manager of the property I was at, saying he was on his way to drop off equipment at my property. And guess what: "Remember when [name with held for blog] flew his drone into the ocean on July 4th? Well, someone who worked at the property then, found it washed up on shore. I'm bringing it to your property for him to pick it up". No way... not possible. Six months later, this thing washes up on shore??? That's crazy talk!
Sure enough, when the manager came by, he had his normal drop off, and then a special delivery. Surprisingly, the drone was still together and holding up quite nicely. It reeked like hell... rather, it smelled like a bad ocean fart, and it was covered in barnacles and shells and other bottom of the ocean stuff. It's amazing that it survived the way it did; I'm kind of shocked it is not in pieces. Curiosity wants to know whether that mess of shells and sea stuff contains a video capturing device or it's just layers upon layers of the oceanic environment. Time and truth will tell, especially if it's cracked into....
Specs for Video:
3DR drone items via Amazon
Go Pro items via Amazon