#Smellbad

 Children of 80's scifi fantasy movies... reminisce with me for a moment.

There is a certain Jennifer Connelly movie from 1986, where she attempts to "get to the castle beyond the Goblin City", to find her baby brother, in 13 hours. You figure out what I'm getting with already? Especially with the blog title? 

So this movie... has a couple scenes where the characters must enter a foul smelling, dead looking, scummy pond... where once you call the rocks (fwrends) to get out of the other side, they - the rocks -  fart as you step on them. No one likes to be trapped in the "BoES", but you can be sent there for disobeying the ruler. When everyone says "smell... bad..." and raises their hands to their faces, in hopes it'll shield them from the nauseating smell of noxious toxins, the characters finally get out alive. Even though I'm sure that stink has stayed on the actors... 34 years later.

Well... I tried the Native "Cactus Flower & Poppy Seed" deodorant stick today. I had finished the "Cucumber & Mint" yesterday (I take 2 showers a day during the week... due to working with the public during the pandemic. Don't hate), so I needed to start a new stick. 

Uhm... #smellbad is not the best way to describe things, but it's of similar stature. 

I personally didn't smell gross - the brand is surprisingly good at keeping me clean (and feeling clean). It's the fact this flavor - Cactus Flower & Poppy Seed - really did a number on me throughout the day. The smell is really pungent... like, imagine a gardenia flower... you know how that particular tree grows, and the aroma the flowers give out? That they're pretty to look at, but you can't be around it for more than 10 minutes without getting a headache? The type that you don't know where the throbbing is coming from within your dome and all you want to do is lay down... because you're afraid the smell is gonna make you yack? 

Yeah, I had that reaction today to the pit stick. I couldn't wait to get home and take a shower. But unfortunately I had to wait 10 hours to do something about it. 

Those were the longest hours of my life this week. And we set the clocks back an hour this past weekend. 

Yup... I learned a lesson about ordering stuff online. It's a crap shoot of what you're gonna get, but if you're getting things that smell, make damn sure you know what you're getting before you spend the dosh on it. 

I mean, the Cucumber Mint was good. It was soft enough in the scent department that it stayed mildly neutral all day, every day. I liked it. It was clean. I would order that again. But the Cactus Flower and Poppy Seed... well... I think it's gonna get the bottom of the bin smelling rather nice, because it's too late to return the stick (past the window of exchange), and I don't want to start trying to fight the company for a different smell, since I don't even know how the Blood Orange & Clove is going to be when I open that tomorrow. Remember, I got the Orange and Clove as a substitution because they didn't have the other scent I wanted. 

I totally got played with this purchased, that's for sure. It took almost a month to get to me, they didn't have a stick in stock (and failed to tell me), one of their fragrances STINKS (and it's supposed to be "sensitive" to boot!), and the customer service side of the ordeal is right shit. 

So... I'm gonna take my suggestion of "always do your research" to heart, and actually bite the bullet - I think I'm going to spend the extra money and buy in the retail stores rather than online. If I'm stupid enough to buy on Amazon, it'll be for the "Coconut & Vanilla" because I've had that before and know what it smells like. Otherwise, I don't think I'm doing this again.

You know how bad that sucks???

Stay hygienic. 

Cheers;