“ Man is least himself when he talks in his own person...”

“... Give him a mask and he'll tell you the truth”

Oscar Wilde

I’ve been having a conversation with a friend of mine (who shall remain nameless, for the sake of anonymity due to the subject). It’s a conversation about clothing styles... things he and I constantly have (mostly) similar thoughts about.

We both showed our age a couple weeks ago, when we were chatting about JNCO jeans... the popular super wide bell bottom type pants that were wicked popular in the 1990s. Amazon is selling similar styles Here. My friend said he saw someone wearing a pair almost a decade ago, while traveling through Iceland. The guy wearing the jeans was from the west coast of the United States and my friend was amazed the pants were still in good standing (literally). The guy took great care of this outfit, as the pants did not look aged, ratty or gross. 

Today, being Good Friday, a lot of people have the day off. I took off due to having a lot of PTO to use. My friend didn’t mention whether he took the day off as well, or his employers were closed, but he said he attempted to wear a new style of clothing for most of the day. 

I must put the disclaimer up now. I’m about to start talking about a subject that may offend people. Gender norms, clothing styles for men and women, people wearing outfits not meant for them (not so much “cross dressing”, but similar). 

If any of this offends you, please walk away now. Close this page ... but come back to visit another day. I want to be able to talk about situations openly and freely, without worry that someone will get upset with the topic.

So my friend and I were comparing notes about what we have done today, regarding clothing options. I had mentioned I went to a big box retailer with the intention of pants shopping. 

I spent about $73 on 4 pairs of shorts and I tried on at least a dozen different pairs, including a pair of Dickies work shorts, loose fit. I can’t find the exact pair online, but I felt like a gang member in them, as they were too wide in the legs, too starchy and although I needed the waist, I’d be the laughing stock of the world. 

Yes, I wear men’s clothes (jeans and shirts) for being a female. They are a bit more comfortable and less form fitting, especially since I’m a fit kid trying to hide my fat.

So I bought 4 pairs of shorts. All Wrangler brand, combination jeans and  Cargo shorts. I didn’t buy the Dickies. I’d be attracting unwanted attention.

My friend then mentioned he wore a dress today. He sent me a picture, and it was actually a nice form fitting dress. Long sleeves, calf length, dark color. It was a mix of black, white and greys, but solid. I had to ask him if it were a wool dress, as that was the tone it was giving out. He said it is probably a cotton mix, but it’s not 100% wool. 

I told him that it was quite flattering, as it was tight enough to accentuate his body, but loose enough that he was still able to leave a lot to the shadows. Keep things hidden. 

He appreciated the remark, and said that he felt he needed to wear a cardigan or a turtleneck with it. My response was easy to help him decide. Although I’m no fashionista, I told him he needs to keep the outfit simple. Because of his shape and the style of the dress, a turtleneck will be sleeves on sleeves. As this is a winter dress, two long sleeved items on his body won’t work, since he would have to find a way to unzip the dress to take the underlying turtleneck off. If he wanted a cardigan or something to cover him, keep it elegant. Something light in color and function. Jazz it up with simplicity without causing attention. 

I ended up linking him three things. 

1. J. LOVNY Women's Stretch Three Quarter Sleeve Midi Length Cardigan with Pockets

2. Urban CoCo Women's Drape Front Open Cardigan Long Sleeve Irregular Hem

3. Women's Sleeveless Draped Open Front Cardigan Vest Asymmetric Hem

I said that any one of those three would look amazing with what he was wearing. It would tie everything together well and he wouldn’t feel like he was showing off or seeking attention. Again, it’s simple yet elegant. He could rock any one of them, as he looked pretty good in the dress. 

He thanked me for the suggestions and said that he liked 1 & 3 and could see himself attempting the look. 

I told him that he should look into it if he plans on doing more excursions through out the next few months, especially since he stated his girlfriend was the one who purchased this dress plus a couple summer ones for him. He plans on going out and dress shopping once stores open fully, and he has his girlfriend to support him. Which is totally fair. 

I wish I knew the brand of the dress, I would link to it. 

I’m happy for my friend. He is finally able to be himself. I know he has struggled for years in figuring out what he wants in life. I’ve known him for 19 years, and although I kept quiet in the beginning on what his sexuality was, as well as what he did outside of school, he was my friend nonetheless. I trust him, I like him, I will always support him. If he wants to continue on the path of exploration, I will continue to talk with him about his escapades. I will add my opinion and respect what he is doing on this path. He has definitely grown as an individual and I am super friggin proud of him. 

Happy chocolate bunny weekend...

Cheers;