Picture this:
It's 7 o'clock in the morning.
It's a weekday (it actually was this past Tuesday, the 29th).
You're just wrapping up the making of breakfast (smoothie and a coffee) so you can check emails and you've got the blender in the sink, washing it out.
All of a sudden, you hear bangbangbangbangbangbangbangbangbang!!!!!!!!!!
Like, what the actual hell... it's only 7:05 in the morning. Why's someone knocking on the front door like there's a fire in their apartment and I'm the only one on the street with a Dixie Cup of water?
I get to the front room and look out the window.
The surfer bro that lives in the next block of units, is standing outside, waving at me like he's some sort of special.
I open the door, and poke my head out.
He's obviously cold, as he has on a decently heavy letterman jacket, but he's not cold enough, where there's no shirt on under it and he also is wearing shorts with no shoes.
At least his curly blond hair is not wild and his door knocker nose ring is straight.
And it wasn't that chilly out. Maybe mid 60s, but then again, I hate the Florida climate. Cold is good.
As this was the first ever conversation I've had with him, in the 11 years I've been here, I was quite surprised how polite he was trying to be.
I asked him what's up, and he says "I hope I didn't wake you", acting all innocent.
Bro, you just almost banged a hole in my front door, and it's not yet 7:15. You might have woken the neighbors across the road with your pounding.
I said he didn't wake me.
"Okay, okay. Good", he says, smiling. His hands are already wringing themselves.
He goes on to ask me if I checked my mail yesterday and I say yes (side note: for every 2 blocks of units, they share a common bank of lockable mailboxes).
He asked me if I'm sure, and I again say yes.
I don't even know his name, by the way.
He's mulling over how he wants to ask me about the mail. You could tell, especially the way he kept constantly rubbing his hands inside each other.
He asks if I'm number 104, and I say yes. He says "good. Good. I'm 104 in the next section. You said you got your mail yesterday?"
"Yes"
"Well, I'm not accusing you of stealing or anything", he says, now his hands are out, as if he's trying to defend himself, "but I am missing my mail".
Uh... we have lock box mailboxes. Each slot has it's own special key to open. I can't get into his mailbox, much like he can't get into mine.
I said "oh?" and raised my eyebrows.
"Yes. Like I said, I'm not trying to accuse you of stealing, but I am missing a package. I got an email saying my jewelry was delivered at 1:34 yesterday afternoon and it's not there. So I need you to go to your mailbox right now and check your box".
I reiterated we checked our mail and we don't have anything.
He kept doing a slight shift in front of me. Almost like the pee pee dance, but more nervous.
He said that he really needed me to go check again, because he is sure I have it in my mailbox, even though he's not saying I'm a thief.
I assured him we checked our mail in the afternoon and didn't get it. Maybe it was delivered to another 104 , because that does happen a lot.
He didn't want to listen. He was pressuring me to get my mailbox key and take him to the box.
It was nerve wracking for me because I don't know him from anything. I've seen him around walking his two dogs, but we've never had a conversation, and now he's tweaking out at my front door.
After 5 minutes of going back and forth, I said to him to wait a minute.
I shut the door, locked it, and went to get my mother. I explained what was happening. He obviously wasn't leaving.
So she gets to the front door, unlocks it, and asks him what's going on.
He explains how he got "an email from Etsy saying the jewelry was delivered on or in the mailbox. Which doesn't make sense - why would you put it on the box? It wasn't in mine".
My mother says we never got his mail. He asks her if she's sure, because the email said it was delivered at 1:34pm. She said she went to the box after 2:30 and we had nothing.
He was dancing around some more through all this and asked again if she's sure it was after 2. She said yes.
He said he trusted us, but still needed to make sure, so my mother said she would get our keys. He said it's not a problem, he believes her.
She asked him if he had asked any other neighbor and he said no. She said that maybe if they put the actual block numbers on the houses, people would get their packages because other neighbors report missing stuff too. We see it on the social media apps.
He said it would make sense to have numbers on the doors, but he really needs his jewelry he ordered, right now.
We said we didn't have it, and my mother suggested he put a note in his mailbox for the postal worker. That an email came saying a package was delivered and it's not there. See what happens.
He said he would do that.
He thanked us and walked away.
It took 10 minutes and felt so much longer. It was weird and awkward and he's lucky I didn't have a gun or call the cops. I know people who would have done both, and actually have heard a story from a neighbor who has a conceal to carry card and he had an incident when we first moved here. It was 3am and two tweakers came to our neighbor's house for a drug deal and when they saw the pistol, they knew they were at the wrong door. All because who knocks at 3am unless you're emergency services??
So that night, we had some company and were walking them out with Surfer Tweaker Bro rides past us on his longboard. It's pitch black out and he's got one of the dogs with him. Again, no shirt, no shoes, any maybe just a little brain service.
He sees us and stops in the middle of the road. My mother saw him stop and asks him if he found anything out.
Sure enough, he did. He called the post office and talked to someone on our route. Come to find out, it was mis-delivered and then re-delivered to his unit. So he did in fact have the necklace he ordered, in his possession and it all worked out okay.
My mother said that that is good and she's glad he took care of it. He agreed and off he skated.
So in the end, positive things do happen, but if you're a dumb dumb over it, you might not be so lucky. Again, we could have easily called the police due to the way he was acting and accusing us (but not accusing us) of stealing, not truly listening to our "sorry, we don't have it" and the insistence we go with him 👏 right
now .
now .I'd say "smoke em if you got em", but even the most powerful stuff can't calm you down after that mess. Unless you find something good and care to share, but still... don't do what surfer bro did and act a fool.
Until my nerves become unbound, rest easy.
Cheers!
See also (aka "what's for breakfast")
Smoothie:
Options in smoothie:
- Nut butter
- Turmeric Powder
- Frozen Fruit & Veggies (it acts as ice, or get fresh bananas - cut and freeze. It makes like an ice cream base)
- Fresh (whole) cranberries
Don't forget the blender.
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Thanks for sharing!