I has mad Beats?

No, I have knock off earpods instead. 

One of the things I purchased at the liquidation center last year, was what I thought were Apple Lightning (wired) Earpods.

For half a sawbuck, I thought I was getting a good deal, especially since it's a two pack and I wanted other options besides my over the ear cans (with adapter) or Bluetooth pods since the iPhone took the 3.5mm jack away and rendered all normal headphones useless. #Adapterlife sucks if you don't want to upgrade your phone and don't like relying on Bluetooth (because people on the receiving end of phone calls can't understand what you're saying most of the time. Plus, try recording audio in a memos app or on Skype.. won't jive great). 

Basically, I thought wrong about the deal I got (kinda?). 

For context, the three pack of adapters I got previously (collectively known as the "dock adapters) crapped out. Each lasted about a month or so and because the phone would be in my pocket, on my desk, in other places, the adapter was bending to the point it was doing bad to the lightning piece in the phone. 

There were moments when the wire itself bent at a weird angle and constantly trying to adjust everything, the adapter was turning into junk. There came a point when the lightning connector moved out of the adapter on all three, thus rendering it all to the trash. 

I mean, it being a "dock connector" would have been nice if I wanted to hook my phone up to a banging sound system and rock out to the oldies, but listening to podcasts and not being able to make phone calls, wasn't the best. 

So now that I've got no more adapters, I'm up to the wired all in one headphones.

Last night I went to connect a pair to try it out. 

Odd thing happened:

My phone thought I was connecting a pair of Beatsˣ. 

Which isn't the case. 

At all.

Especially since neither look alike. One is a pair of wired in ear headphones. The other is a pair of wireless in ear headphones that connect via Bluetooth and are attached by a wire around your neck. 

So I figured I'd try to connect them and see what happens. 

Once connected, my phone paired them as Bluetooth anyway, since somehow they are chipped to read as wireless headphones and labeled as "lightning".

Which is super weird. Especially since it even says "Power on" in your ear and "connected" once it connects. 

But... they're wired... directly to your phone...With no batteries or anything else...

My media control center even says it's a Bluetooth device. 

But the battery control center doesn't see them. It only saw my actual phone and watch. 

Hmm.. Odd that this is obviously not an Apple thing. Especially since I've tried to Google it to see what the deal is. 

How do you even research it? What do you type in? 

Some of the pages I found online say that it's definitely some magic knockoff where it's so cheap that the manufacturer wants to play you for a complete tool. 

Due to Apple having a stronghold over how they make their devices and accessories, not every brand is created equal in the "alternative to the fruit" category. One must go through stringent regulations for getting an "Apple MFi Certified" note on their package if it's not a direct spawn of the tree of Steve ideas. Even if it does say "MFi Certified", it might not be. There's a special / secret way Apple creates its stuff and all sorts of tech places are trying to compete for end users. If they can find a workaround and get bank on people, they will. No matter how it happens. 

So these headphones make you feel like something illegal is happening. How easily you might have been conned into thinking you got a real item when it's not. It is proof that once a company makes a product and locks it down so no other business can produce it, you're stuck buying the original or risk having problems. 

There's something about these headphones connecting as Bluetooth and calling themselves Beats, that doesn't sit right with me. I don't know what it is or how to explain it. It's one of those feelings in the pit of my stomach that tells me someone is doing something very bad. 

Yet I used the headphones today, and they seemed fine. 

I mainly listen to podcasts so I can't comment on the ebbs and flows of actual music. How you can tell a woodwind from a percussion or the scratching of a thump under a screeching electric guitar. I'm into music, but I'm into furthering my knowledge of stuff while at work. 

One of the things I do know, is that the EQ setting in the phone is set to "late night", which I probably should change as it makes everything louder. Since these new earpods are not the collaborated Apple x Dre, the actual music settings for headphones won't let me tweak anything Beats related. Or Apple headphones related.

Yes, Apple has a fully functioning set up to do some really nifty looking sound stuff with the Beats by Dre stuff, but since what I got is not legit, I can't do any amazing audio customizations. I don't mind. I don't use my phone that way. 

Then again, I don't use the phone in any way "normal" people do. I've always maintained that. 

I'm sure I'll find a way to sort this all out. By hook or by crook, I know I need something to keep me from squirrel moments while I whittle away my hours at work....

Until I get something better...

Cheers;

See also (headphones)

* Apple EarPods Headphones with Lightning Connector (what I thought I was buying)

* Beatsˣ headphones (what my phone thinks I have)

* 2 Pack-Apple Earbuds - Lightning (what I bought at a liquidation center)